The Power of Blessing
Words of Wisdom with Rabbi Efrat Zarren-Zohar
This Dvar Torah was edited from one originally published in the Boulder Jewish News and written by Morah Yehudis Fishman, a teacher of Torah and Chassidut for over forty years to students of all ages and backgrounds, both on the East Coast and the Midwest.
There is a heart-wrenching story that took place in a DP camp, on erev Yom Kippur with the Klausenberger Rebbe.
He was about to do some internal preps for the coming holiday, when he heard a knock on his door. He opened it to a young girl.
With tears in her eyes, she said, ‘Please Rebbe, I am part of the orphans here. I remembered that my father used to bless me right before Yom Kippur, but now I am all alone and am wondering if you could give me the traditional blessing that a father is supposed to give his daughter.’
The Rebbe, much moved, said, ‘I will be your father. He took out a kerchief and placed it on the girl’s grateful head, and recited the blessing.
She left, very appreciative.
A few minutes later there was another knock, and this time, a whole slew of little girls appeared.
The compassionate Rebbe could not refuse them, and as the sun was getting ready to set, he ended up giving the blessing to 87 girls!
This custom is practiced not only on erev Yom Kippur but also on Friday nights and is taken from a source in this week’s parasha of Vayechi, when Yacov blessed his grandchildren.
After Kiddush is made, the children are blessed in the manner of the priestly blessing, by placing hands on the child’s head.
There is a specific one line formula – one for girls and one for boys.
And then the parents can bless with their own words if they desire.
The girls’ blessing is: ‘May G-d place you as Sara, Rivka, Rachel, and Leah, and the boys’ blessing is: ‘May G-d place you as Ephraim and Menashe’ (the sons of Yosef, who became separate tribes in Yacov’s family.)
The feminine references are pretty straight forward but why bypass all the previous patriarchs and what’s with putting the younger son before the older?
The first question can be addressed easily: All the preceding males in the families of Avraham’s descendants didn’t get along very well.
In contrast, in this week’s Torah portion, Yosef’s sons, even when they were switched when blessed, did not express any contention.
It was a confusing episode, which I suggest the reader should look up directly, but the bottom line was, as many commentaries contend, there was no jealousy between those two boys.
The sages do point to envy as a particularly harmful trait, but don’t think that envy is merely an interpersonal problem.
If you think about it, expressing or even just feeling envy has a theological component. It can reflect dissatisfaction with the way Hashem runs the world.
It can imply that after you have tried to improve things, if the results are still not to your liking, Hashem should have given you a ‘better hand’ in life.
These feelings can interfere with the value of unity that pours into our world on Shabbos.
So the model here is to complement (and compliment) rather than compete.
Furthermore, in terms of contemporary relevance, another reason to single out Menashe and Ephraim for Friday night blessings is that they were the only Jewish children in Genesis who were born and raised in that most exile ridden environment of Egypt.
The implicit message to a Jewish boy would be, ‘Don’t be afraid to express your Judaism, even when facing indifference or even hostility. Remember that G-d has a bigger vote and more clout than any dark force confronting you. As the mother of Anthony Hopkins told her exceptional son over and over: ‘Your difference is not your weakness; it’s your strength.’
You may not have children, or they may not be living with you, but it may be very powerful to spend some time Friday night to fill your heart with a specific blessing for people in your life.
We are taught, and today even scientific studies back it up, that prayers and blessings for others can have a significant impact.
What a beautiful way to usher in the Shabbos queen than to have some loved ones in mind or to shower those around you with these meaningful words.
Especially this year, with so many orphans in Israel, the literal ‘children of Israel’ in particular, can be gifted by our having them in mind under the aura of the holy Shabbat.
